“The Heart Wants What It Wants”: A Mother Comes to Grips with a New Reality
Before the war started in Ukraine, Anzhelika and her two daughters, Ruslanka (20) and Valeria (22), had a peaceful life in Borodyanka, in Bucha Raion of Kyiv province. The 48-year-old mother worked at a jewelry store and spent her days daydreaming about her daughters’ weddings and future grandchildren – until the 24th of February.
When the small town of Borodyanka was attacked, Anzhelika and her daughter Valeria took shelter in a basement nearby for several days until the bombings stopped. Only thinking about the traumatizing events she endured while in hiding is enough to make her eyes well up.
When the bombings were at their peak, Borodyanka residents communicated via online chats where they sent a daily plus sign (+) to confirm that they were still alive. As the days went by, there were fewer and fewer plus signs being shared.
Anzhelika knew she had to leave Borodyanka as soon as possible to make sure that her daughter would survive.
The two left Borodyanka with a group of 21 people, including several babies. They wanted to get as far as possible from the bombings. Once they got to Uzhhorod, they realized that they had no place to stay, until a monastery offered to host them.
"Work has kept us from having negative thoughts and reflecting too much about everything we have been through.” – Anzhelika.
IOM/Dušana Štecová
For three days straight, Anzhelika did not eat or sleep due to stress she went through during the mass bombings in Borodyanka. As they were fleeing, people had no time to take clothes, food, documents or anything of value with them, but the monks took care of everything.
Anzhelika had no idea what to do next or where she should go. A monk explained to her where the borders were and where she could go next. “My daughter advised me to go to Slovakia to be close to home in case we were able to go back in the near future,” she recalls. “I agreed, thinking we wouldn‘t be away for too long.”
Anzhelika and her daughter walked for ten kilometres to reach Ukraine's border with Slovakia. “We were part of a stream of people walking shoulder to shoulder with bags, pets, belongings – everything we had. After we finally crossed the border, we felt relieved. The volunteers gave us food and comfort.”
Upon arrival, people were divided into groups according to their final destination in Slovakia. Anzhelika ended up in a group of people who weren’t really sure where they wanted to go. She felt that she had to make a decision about her future – and quickly. “My philosophy is that if I was given life and I managed to outlive most of my neighbours in Borodyanka, then it is my duty to make the most out of it.”
Ten days after first crossing the border with Slovakia, Anzhelika was already working on a farm close to Košice. “Work has kept us from having negative thoughts and reflecting too much about everything we have been through. There is only one land, whether it is in Slovakia or in Ukraine,” Anzhelika says.
Even though she is happy to have found a temporary home in Slovakia, the only thing Anzhelika longs for is peace.
IOM/Dušana Štecová
Working the land is not always easy, but we quickly understood that if we ever wanted to go back, we needed to work hard to make that happen.
Meanwhile, her daughter Valeria has gone back to Ukraine and applied to become a paramedic. Anzhelika thinks she will soon enlist in the army.
Anzhelika is grateful for the interactions that she has had with the Slovak people; her only obstacle is the language, she says. To be able to improve the language skills of all those fleeing Ukraine and further improve their integration and employment opportunities, the International Organization for Migration (IOM) is organizing language classes, which Anzhelika regularly attends.
Even though she is happy to have found a temporary home in Slovakia, the only thing Anzhelika longs for is peace. “Some people may think that it is easy for us here, but it is not. I am here, but my heart is where the bombs are. I am sure that most Ukrainians who are now abroad will go back home one day – the heart wants what it wants.”
This story was written by Dušana Štecová, Media and Communications Assistant with IOM Slovakia, dstecova@iom.int.